this is a thing i've never done before...especially in the first day of the year. i was used to make new year's resolutions, which never really resolved anything in my life. even if i don't call my life an endless, sickening cycle of unfortunate events, there is always something weird that happens every year - and usually, i never get over it easily.
today, i thought of making something different - something which could make my mind reel, and hopefully, yours too. here goes:
colors. i thought they were just used to make something look nice. i also thought that they were just there to make people easily remember what a thing is - like, if you see the color blue, the sky; the color red, blood; and the color green, leaves. in short, colors meant nothing much to me. but now, after a day with nothing to do but think about what has happened to my life, i finally realized something - colors really mean much...especially when you think your life isn't really that colorful. colors now represent steps in my journey, and each time i look at them, i remember the events that happened to me just this past year.
the color orange reminds me of my birthday this 2005. orange is the overall color of dusk, when the sun sets to give way to the night. this might seem dark at first, but, whenever i look upon the night sky, i remember that it holds more promise than it looks. this birthday, i realized that there are more responsibilities that i have to face, and there is so little time for my old attitude already. i turned 16 this past year, and i know that i must already shift gears in order to move faster - because i'm not getting any younger. i have to give up my happy-go-lucky attitude, yes.
the color brown reminds me of something similar to it, meaning that, my foundation has been laid, and i have to move on to the next step in order to design my future. same as the color of the hard earth, it reminds me that i was made strong and fortified to face more challenges. yes, this color reminds me of graduation last april. i am thankful to Him, that He allowed me to finish high school equipped with a strong heart and a sound mind. i am thankful to MaSci, which made me a lot better, not only in academics, but also in relationships and the like. i am also thankful to my parents, who were always there whenever i needed them. also, thanks to my brother/s and sister/s (haha, you know who you are, guys), whose hands were never that full to catch me when i was falling. thanks a lot, guys. i never really learned to thank people personally, i'm sorry. so...there.
may '05 reminds me of the color yellow. for me, yellow is synonymous to light, to influence. it is a color that never fails to brighten up anything (remember Smiley), and it also makes everything beside it illumined whenever it's present. may '05 was a privilege for me, because it was the first i got to handle kids half my age...in boot camp. see, i'm not the typical person who could a)handle kids, b) wake up earlier than all the others, and c)do things people are supposed to do in boot camp. well, thankfully, i did fine, but, i know i could do better...i hope next time, i could be given another privilege to impart not only my knowledge, but also some character (the good ones, really now...) to the kids. hey, they're gonna be the ones who's gonna run the country after our generation does! =Z therefore, whatever we left...they're the ones who's gonna pick up after us. i learned this in boot camp: don't make any mess that you couldn't clean up afterward. true.
green. well, others think of gross and yucky things when this color comes to mind. for me, it's just like the color of fresh leaves. well, they mean fresh starts...june! i started college in this month, and there were a lot of new things that came my way - a new set of subjects, new friends, a new school, a new atmosphere...all of them helped me to jumpstart my college life. it was also in this time that i had chances to know people i've known before better, and i thank God for those chances.
come november of 2005, i had an experience which always led me to the color red whenever i think back to it. it was a very rare experience, and it was a privilege to able to be part of it. it was the SEAGames 2005, here in manila. why red, you ask? well, being part of the volunteer force in the SEAG made me see the ups and downs (more on the downs, i'm sorry) of my country, and it made me more passionate to be able to serve and make a difference. red is the color of passion, of blood burning with desire. i know that passion isn't all that takes to make me a better citizen of this country, but it could be one giant leap; to burn with love for my home. see, only filipinos can love the Philippines as their home, because indeed, who would love our own country other than us? =)
white. the color of purity, of cleanliness. this december, the color that comes into my mind is white. it was in this month that a lot of great challenges came my way. here came the MTM clinic...wherein i had to unlearn everything i knew about my sport and learn the basics of it - character. i had to make a clean slate out of my mind, and absorb everything i had seen, heard and learned like a sponge. there were a lot of differences between those who were into Taekwondo in Korea and here in the Philippines, and those differences are crippling us into being better persons and athletes. in order to race with our global competitors, we should not just practice, train and study; we must also fix our hearts. it was also here that i learned that life isn't just about being who you are and what you're trying to show the world: it's about what you are made of too.
this year, the only color that comes into my mind is purple. purple is a mixture of red and blue, which mean courage and peace, respectively. for me, these two must always come together, because without peace, you could not have courage to do things; and without courage, you could never really find true peace. this 2006, i am not afraid of the things that might go in the way, because He is the one who gives me peace that passes all understanding. know why? i know i can do all things, because of His strength that enables me to do them.
there you go. i hope you've had a nice holiday season...like me.*wink*
